Ask Men writer Patrick Smith, in what I’m convinced is some sort of link-bait fake controversy, has called out those who like craft beer. After all, he knows you would much rather have a Bud Light instead of a “Magic such-and-such.” How does he know? Because that’s what he wants, of course!
Today, you can buy high-end beers that have, like, 6-7% alcohol and taste like turpentine. That used to be called Schlitz Malt Liquor. But at least The Bull was cold. At my neighborhood’s liquor store, strolling past row after row of lukewarm emetics with cutie-pie labels, it dawned on me: I love beer, but I hate these beers.
And so do you. You can deny it all you want, but I’ll never believe you wouldn’t rather shoot pool with a couple of Pabst Blue Ribbons than with a cedar-spiced holiday ale.
My friends think I’m the one who’s nuts. They’ll drink an India pale ale from Portland, then a weissen with notes of clove, followed by… on and on. I’m missing out, they’ll tell me. They call me a beer square.
I’ll give him the point he’s trying to make — though like a whiny baby — and simply say: good for him. He should drink whatever he wants to drink, even if it’s just PBR until he’s blind. But the way he makes his point, by denouncing selection and at least some attention to detail and craft while brewing, is simply ignorant.
As we’ve said before and will say again right now: craft beer should absolutely not become wine. It shouldn’t become a place for snobbishness, exclusivity, or elitism. As I type this, I’m drinking a Yuengling. I picked it over bottles of Bell’s Hopslam and Troges Nugget Nectar, to say nothing of a dozen other beers, including homebrews. Why? Because it’s what I wanted — something simple and light while I typed.
And that’s the point. Plenty of those who like — and even those who brew — the fancy beers he denounces enjoy the occasional American light lager. That’s ok. What’s not ok is holding it against them when they step outside of the marketing and brainwashing that led the American beer industry into a mass-produced, disgusting haze.